Superheroes are great, right? In a time of need, they rush to the scene, use their incredible powers to defeat the bad guy, and fly off with the victim. They might even get a nice article in the town’s newspaper the next day. They’re beloved by everyone around them.
They’re not perfect, though. If there’s one thing I’ve learned while watching movies and reading comics, it’s that many of them have their own demons that they need to work on.
These 5 superheroes are ones you really don’t need to pattern your life after.
Iron Man
People generally are arrested and fined for driving a vehicle while drunk. But when Tony Stark gets loaded, flies through the air in his suit that he built (while also drunk), and nearly kills a guy, nothing happens. That doesn’t seem too fair. I’ve got my eye on you, Iron Man.
Hit Girl
The lovable kid superhero from Kick-Ass shows America that fighting like a girl shouldn’t be considered an insult, but rather a compliment. However, she might kick too much butt. That film adaptation was pretty graphic, especially during some of her fight scenes. Kids, if you happen to get picked on at school and you’re forced to defend yourself, be sure to drop that bully to the ground—but please don’t murder them or anything. That might not be the best course of action.
Batman
When Bruce Wayne’s wealthy parents died, he didn’t just get angry—he became a superhero, started beating up uninsured people for a living, caused thousands of dollars of damage to the city of Gotham, and lived by himself in a cave. If you have lost the two most important people in your life, that’s an incredibly awful weight to carry around, but it’s best to not to live the rest of your years seeking revenge all the time.
The Punisher
I’ll admit, the Punisher is pretty cool. But dear Lord, he has to be the most destructive superhero to ever exist. No matter what or who is in his path, he’s going to obliterate them with no remorse and keep on moving. Hey Punisher, you know talking things out with people and trying to get to the root of the problem works too, right? No? It doesn’t? Oh okay. Just keep on murdering then.
Arm-Fall-Off-Boy
I can picture the scenario now: “Honey, what do you do when you are faced with a conflict?”
“TEAR MY ARM OFF AND START BEATING PEOPLE WITH IT. MAKE MY ENEMIES SUFFER IN THE MOST HUMILIATING WAY POSSIBLE.”
Yeah, that’s not the wisest course of action there, dude. In my opinion, this superhero isn’t even that interesting. If anything, he’s just silly. It’s best to just leave your limbs on your body and do something else, pal. We’re not impressed.
Take this advice, and don’t emulate what these people do. This is the real world, and trying to fight crime in a violent way on your own just isn’t going to work out in your favor.
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